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Things I Will Miss About New York City

1. The NW train
2. The fact that the city is lousy with cupcake bakeries
3. The Met
4. The fact that I can pay people to pick up my clothes, wash them, and return them to me folded, and this is like a normal thing that nobody is going to judge me over
5. Shitty Chinese food any time I want it
6. Sharing real estate with an entire tribe of people who get really excited about ramps (ramps!)
7. The Strand
8. The probable ex-KGB operative that sells romance novels out of the back of a van in front of my bank
9. Dim sum Saturday mornings
10. Getting fall-down drunk in a city where the subways run 24 hours
11. The fact that someone who lives six avenues away is "too far" to go to
12. The dumb blonde girls at my liquor store
13. My friends
14. Knowing how everything works

Things I Will Not Miss About New York City

1. The way I can tell summer is coming by how much the subway smells like pee
2. The 1, 2, and 3 trains
3. The Whitney
4. The temptation to eat everything bagels with veggie cream cheese
5. The fact that the city is lousy with cupcake bakeries
6. Standing in front of a Starbucks at 6:45 a.m. on a Saturday because the sign says they open at 6:30 and I can sort of see people inside, in the back, but the front of the store is still all shuttered and I just really fucking need a skinny vanilla latte with two extra shots FUCK YOU OPEN UP YOU COFFEE FASCISTS
7. Times Square
8. $7 shots
9. No easy proximity to a Target
10. It taking 45 minutes to get anywhere
11. It taking 2 hours to do anything
12. Living here turning me into a total asshole


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May 2010


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